The Fire Inside Read online

  Task complete, she pulled back the covers and climbed inside, the sheets cool against her flushed skin. But sleep wasn’t coming in the near future. She stared up at the textured ceiling, counting the brown spots where previous water damage had been made from leaks in the apartment above her.

  Regardless how hard she tried to think of anything else, her thoughts kept going back to Konrad. She couldn’t believe he was stubborn enough to sleep outside her door. She knew it wasn’t very comfortable. Lying out there sweating, fur getting matted, bugs irritating you and mosquitoes trying to drain you of blood.

  No, she wouldn’t feel sorry for him. He could choose to leave. He didn’t have to stay. Did she want him to leave? Hell, he’d already spent one night out there. He knew what he was getting into. So why should she feel sorry for him? Teeth clenched, she threw the covers back and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She paused, fighting the urge to go let him inside. But she lost the battle.

  She came to her feet and made her way quickly toward the door, turning the locks and then the knob. As the door swung open, he stood, casting her a questioning look. She sighed, stepping back out of his way. “Hurry up before I have an attack of better judgment.”

  He walked in and she closed the door, flipping the locks back into place before marching past him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the shimmer of light that signaled his shift. She couldn’t look at that hard, sexy body. Not tonight when her lust was raw and laced with a barely controlled anger. She kept her pace, heading for her room. As she crossed the threshold, she called out, “You can sleep on the sofa,” and then she slammed her door behind her. She growled as she heard his soft laughter coming from the living room.

  Chapter Four

  A scream ripped through Tyra’s lips as she bolted across the bed and into the corner. She sat, knees drawn up, squeezing her eyes shut as she rocked back and forth. Someone called her name. Warm hands caressed her upper arms.

  “Tyra, I’m here. It’s okay.”

  That familiar deep voice rolled over her. Her eyelids snapped open and she looked up at Konrad’s face. Without thought, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tight around his torso as her body trembled. He caught her weight and held her snuggly against him as he rubbed one powerful hand up and down her back. Her heart ached as she tried to push the horrid memories of her past away. So alone…so cold. Never again. She never ever wanted to feel loss and fear like that again.

  Her panting breaths stirred the fine hairs on Konrad’s broad chest. She had to pull away. It wasn’t right to use him like this. She would pull away…soon…just another minute. It would be so easy to stay in the warmth and security of his embrace. But that wasn’t an option. She hadn’t gotten this far by being weak. Her breaths became steady and she pulled back to look at him.

  His hand came up to brush stray hairs off her face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  No. She couldn’t talk about it. With effort, she swallowed past the lump of fear in her throat. She needed to clear her mind of the nightmare and be strong. She pushed away from him and came to her feet. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t. I was already awake. I have to leave soon, I have—”

  “Don’t let me keep you.” She spun away from him and made for the doorway. Her hands trembled and she fisted them at her sides. She needed to put some distance between them. The nightmare had left her emotions raw and the security he offered in his embrace was too great of a temptation right now. She knew she was being short with him, knew it was rude, but she had to pull herself together right now, before she fell into a puddle of anguish at his feet.

  “Tyra, wait.”

  “No, really, it’s fine. Just go.” She’d nearly made it to the bathroom when he grabbed her arm. She turned to look at him.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She watched as the muscle in his jaw began to tick.

  He released her arm. “You know what? Fine. You don’t want to tell me what’s bothering you. I get it. What I don’t get is why you keep lying to yourself.”

  She moved to the side as he reached past her to grab the towel she’d used last night. With a quick motion, he wrapped it around his hips. She turned and walked into the bathroom. “Lock the door behind you.”

  She closed the door and heard his low growl from the other side, and then his retreating footsteps. It was another full minute before she heard him turn the locks on the door and close it behind him. Had he been hoping she would stop him? She knew she played with fire when it came to Konrad, but she just didn’t know what in the hell to do.

  When she knew for sure he’d left, she came out of the bathroom and curled up on the sofa. His scent hung in the air and on the fabric. Her hand moved of its own accord, rubbing against the cushion beside her.

  She lost track of time as she sat there, debating what she should do. Konrad was right. In a way she was lying to herself. She wanted to be with him, but fear kept her from taking a step in that direction. Hell, she didn’t even know how to act around a pack anymore. And the fact she’d seriously contemplated even trying had her squeezing the battered cushion of the couch ’til she heard the fabric splitting under the pressure. The knock on her door made her jump up, startled, releasing her hold on the abused fabric. She glanced up at the dollar store clock on the wall and noticed it was six. Crap, it’s Friday.

  She made her way toward the door, knowing she would find Steve Hanson on the other side. With quick movements, she disengaged the locks on the door and tried to suppress the groan that begged to be released. She had totally forgotten about their date tonight.

  Mortified, she pulled open the door and stood behind it, poking her head around to look at him. He stood with one hand braced against the door frame, smiling at her, the wind tousling the dirty-blond locks of his hair. He wore a light-yellow polo shirt and a pair of designer jeans. She felt like a heel standing there with bed head and still dressed in her PJs. “Hi Steve, I’m sorry, but I forgot about our date tonight.”

  His light-brown brows rose. “Oh. I left you message a few days ago. I guess I should’ve figured you were busy when you didn’t call back.”

  “I got your message. Things have just been really crazy.” That was the understatement of the year.

  “Well, if you still want to grab something to eat, I don’t mind waiting for you to get ready.”

  “I don’t know. It’s complicated.” She felt like crap having to put him off, not to mention the whole situation ticked her off. She’d really been looking forward to this date. Now she couldn’t help but feel waves of nausea just thinking about going with him.

  “Complicated.” Steve pursed his lips. “Translation, you’re seeing someone else.”

  “No…well, not exactly.” Hopefully he didn’t expect her to explain that answer. Hell, she didn’t even know how to explain it. She sure as hell couldn’t say “Not unless you count the stubborn sexy wolf that slept on my sofa last night.” The same one who had held her with such strength and tenderness when she awoke from her night terror. Frustration rose within her.

  “I tell you what. You still need to eat, so how about we just take the label of date off it, and you do me the favor of not making me eat alone.”

  She did feel bad that he drove all the way over here. And she was hungry after not eating all day. As long as he understood that it wasn’t a date, then it wouldn’t hurt to share a meal with him. “Just dinner as friends?”

  “Sure.”

  Oh what the hell. “All right. Give me a few minutes to get dressed.”

  * * * * *

  Konrad tried to focus on the paperwork in front of him, but his mind kept drifting back to Tyra. Luken had shown up to watch over her a little before noon. He’d hated leaving her this morning, and had even been tempted to cancel the meeting with the contractors. But she’d clearly needed some space to deal with whatever demons haunted her. Jus
t thinking about the scream she’d let loose and the way her body had trembled made him grind his teeth with frustration. But he knew he couldn’t rush her. When she was ready, she’d talk.

  His leaving this morning had been for the best though, because it would have taken weeks to reschedule the meeting with the contractors, and as soon as Thanasis signed over the property he wanted to be prepared to break ground. Right now he had over twenty families living in camping trailers in an RV park. Those families needed and deserved homes and he didn’t feel right about putting off the appointment—which would take weeks to reschedule—for his love life.

  Being an alpha meant having to make self-sacrifices. And up until now he hadn’t had a problem doing that. He’d heard the mate bond was a powerful thing, but he never expected to feel as if he was missing a limb when Tyra wasn’t near. Not so much painful as when the limb was ripped from your body, but more like the period of time during the first part of recovery. You knew it was missing and you couldn’t seem to function as well without it.

  With a sigh, Konrad’s gaze moved back to the top of the paper in front of him to start re-reading it. A knock sounded at the door and he called out, “Come in,” without looking up.

  “Konrad, a man from the bank is here.”

  Konrad raised his head to look at his secretary, Stacey. She was of slight build and short stature, but no one in his pack let that fool them for one minute. This little blonde could give even the toughest wolf a run for his money. “Go ahead and give him the papers I signed earlier.”

  He set the papers down on his desk as she turned and headed out of the office. Thanasis had asked an exuberant price for the land, even more than Konrad had expected. But truthfully it would still be worth it in the long run. At first he’d thought about arguing with Thanasis on the price, but figured if he tried, Thanasis would be the type of wolf to raise the price. Besides, Konrad had the money so there wasn’t any point in arguing it. He just had to shift some of his investments around to free up the extra cash.

  He might even look at building his mate a new house once the deal went through. His three-bedroom house was nice, but Tyra might enjoy being able to have input on the floor plan. A smile came to his lips as he sank back in his leather chair. The contractors were set to start on the duplexes first, so it would be possible for her to even pick the spot on which she wanted the house built.

  The smile faded from his lips. Now, the only thing he had to do was convince her to stop fighting him. Maybe a gift would help her disposition. A few of the men in his pack tended to buy their mates presents when they had displeased them. And if that didn’t work…well, he would just hope that it did.

  Konrad glanced over at the large bronze clock hanging on the tan wall. It was nearly eight. He looked back down at the contract on his desk. It could wait ’til the morning. He had some serious wooing to do.

  Stacey darted through the office doorway as he stood up. “Konrad, Luken just called and said he has been trying to reach you.”

  “Shit.” Konrad dug his cell out of the pocket of his black slacks. He’d turned it off during the meeting and forgot to turn it back on.

  “He said to call him and that it was urgent.”

  Konrad's heart increased in tempo. Surely something hadn’t happened to Tyra. “Thanks, Stacey. Will you lock up?”

  “Sure.”

  He walked past her and out the door as he dialed Luken’s cell.

  Chapter Five

  Tyra stared across the table, transfixed by her own thoughts. Konrad’s question had been replaying in her mind. At least now she could admit to herself that she most likely was lying to herself. There was definitely something going on between them, but it scared the hell out of her to even think about exploring it. She didn’t want to want the things he could give her. Hell, she didn’t even know him, and he didn’t know her either, so why was she even contemplating testing the waters? Because Fate had chosen this for her? Screw Fate. Fate had taken her parents from her, breaking her heart in a manner that made her feel that it would never fully heal. Why would she even want to trust Fate? No, if she went forward even a step with Konrad, it would be because she decided.

  An image of him came to her mind and she felt the corners of her mouth lifting. She liked the way his amber eyes seemed to glow when he looked at her as he crowded the space she occupied. Normally dominant tendencies got on her nerves, but with him it was different. A turn-on indeed. It became harder each time she was around him to not succumb to the need he created in her.

  A light touch on her hand made her blink, bringing Steve’s face into focus. Oh hell, how long had she been daydreaming? Her gaze went down to the table, taking in his empty plate, the cash on the table, and her mostly full plate. She looked up at him as she scooted out of the booth. “I’m sorry. I must not have been as hungry as I thought I was.”

  “No problem. Let’s get out of here.”

  He smiled warmly at her and she returned the gesture as she walked beside him. She’d been looking forward to this date—that was now a non-date—with Steve all week, and now she couldn’t help but be a little irritated. She didn’t like the lack of control over her choices. Other men now paled in comparison to Konrad. A week ago, the smile Steve gave her as he opened her car door would have had her thinking of the possibilities. Now she just kind of felt repulsed. Another way for Fate to manipulate her? Well, she had news for Fate—she didn’t have to be attracted to anyone else. She could be alone. Alone was a choice. And she could protect herself. She had the strength. She didn’t have to trust someone else to keep her safe. She trusted herself.

  They’d left the restaurant ten minutes ago and she’d been so lost in thought that she hadn’t realized they weren’t headed in the right direction for him to be taking her home. “Where are we going?” She looked back over at him.

  Steve glanced in her direction, smiling bigger. “My friend told me about this great place. I figured we could go take a look and maybe talk for a little while.”

  The city was behind them, and Tyra looked to the left and right trying to figure out exactly where they were. Steve made a few turns down some small country roads that gave way to dirt. She wanted to groan at her stupidity. She should have known the dinner-as-friends routine wasn’t going to work.

  The tree line filled the side of the road, which cut short the idea of jumping from the vehicle. Most women would probably be scared or excited by this point, but Tyra felt more annoyed than anything. The sudden urge to slap Steve upside his head became more and more tempting. Soon he would stop and she would tell him what a jerk he’d been and then she would be using the legs God gave her to make her way home. Going wolf for the trek back home entered her mind. It would be faster, but she barely repressed the shiver of repulse that just the thought created.

  She didn’t want to be that animal again. She’d stayed that way so long that she’d feared she would lose all touch with her humanity. But she hadn’t dared to trust anyone. She’d been so young that she hadn’t known where to turn. Surly there would have been a pack that would have taken her in, but she didn’t know who she could trust. Would she be different now if she had turned to another pack? Would this thing with her and Konrad be more welcome to her if she hadn’t struck out on her own? And what if things would have been worse for her in another pack? Bad things could happen to those who were vulnerable. But it no longer mattered. She’d embraced her inner animal instead.

  A few twists and turns later and the dense foliage that surrounded them opened up into a clearing with a small lake. Steve put the car in park and Tyra opened the door and stepped out. The sun dipped low on the horizon, painting the sky with flames of orange and red. She had to admit the spot definitely was romantic. The grass surrounding the bank looked soft, green and free of burrs. She heard Steve’s steps coming up behind her.

  “I brought some wine and a blanket,” he said.

  She turned to face him. “Steve—”

  He smiled. “
I thought this would be the perfect spot.”

  He moved quickly for a human, but she pulled back, her face averting his searching lips. The move caused him to stumble into her. She gripped his arms and pushed him back, glaring her displeasure.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought after the way you were looking at me through dinner, that you were feeling it too.”

  The way she was looking at him? Ha! If he only knew she had been thinking about how he paled in comparison to the other person she’d been thinking about. “What part of dinner as friends did you miss?”

  “I thought you were playing hard to get. You know, the whole me saying ‘if you were seeing someone else’, and you said ‘No, not exactly’. To me that meant you wanted me to work for it.”

  She pinched the bridge of her nose. God, deliver me from idiots. This night had turned into one big cluster screw and she just wanted to go home. “Listen, Steve—”

  “What the hell?” Steve whispered, eyes opening wide. “Tyra, don’t move.”

  Tyra had been so caught up in this mess with Steve and Konrad, she hadn’t paid attention. But now she smelled them. Wolves. They were surrounded. Then a familiar scent rose up among them that had her wanting to cuss like a sailor. She turned to face him as he laughed.

  “Ah, we meet again,” Xabier said.

  Steve turned to look at the newcomer. “Dude, you’re naked.”

  Tyra ground her teeth as she stared back at Xabier. A few of the wolves circled him, brushing against his bare legs. One large wolf eyed her eerily as he rubbed his dark gray fur against Xabier, turning his head in a way that never let her out of his sight. They had to be members of his pack, which meant this could very well be his pack’s land. Shit! “We were just leaving.”